Tiny Notes

Tiny Notes
from Jilly Jesson Smyth

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Monday, August 5, 2019

The Year of Living Dangerously

Saving My Own Life

It has been one hell of a time in my journey. This past year I have been journaling and preparing to write again. I am beginning here within my personal blog.

I have 3 blogs: Blogger (Tiny Notes from Athena), Wordpress (Women To Watch Arizona) and Medium (The Burning Times). My media business had to be put on hold as I rebuild my life.

How to get started writing again after the trauma of leaving a sociopathic, gaslighting narcisist with an arsenal of guns, ammo and knives and almost being killed, has been very hard beyond any words. I have an amazing therapist and survivor group that is now a big part of my weekly schedule of healing, this is how I know for sure what it is clearly like to survive a "Ted Bundy" type of person for decades.  



I have been diagnosed with PTSD and trauma from being beat up and deeply bruised head to toe. My head was smashed several times and I blacked out. While I fought back to save my life my body was terribly hurt. The struggle to get back on my feet and restore my work has taken it's toll. 



I started first by finally being able to create my art (ArtbyJilly) in freedom, and to express myself without fear. After moving several times to safe, secret places to live, I am still planning what is next. When I escaped I was in a t-shirt and shorts with no purse or shoes. 




Those clothes were ripped and torn badly and I have been living on less than 5 cents a day at this point in time. Much of my documentation has been on my facebook pages as I have been recovering. Rebuilding my trust within a wonderful new circle of friends has been a priority while I take care of myself first. 


After decades of having to dim my light to survive, I do not have to do that anymore. All of this will not be in vain. My learning curve is helping others find their own courage as the #MeToo Movement grows. Below is a photo from Judith Mariner's Studio with a very fine group of artists I am honored to collaborate with now as we create our work. This door opened as I closed the door on the past.

   

The purpose of this post is to get started again on my writing. My past story of being told to stop on a daily basis, before being brutally attacked, will be helping others as I create my future story of thriving. 

This has been a year of living dangerously after a lifetime of survival and sleeping with the enemy within a marriage. This was not my fault. Sociopath's are attracted to light, vulnerability and things thay want to own, these personality types have no empathy or compassion, they are never what they seem.  

Namaste' and Thank you,
Jilly Jesson
I am redesigning all my online platforms now as I create new sculptures and art, thank you for supporting me.

Click here to buy or view a sample of my prints: http://bit.ly/FineArtistJillyJesson_ArtPrints

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